“I haven’t practiced this week," moaned Mark, my young piano student.
“What’s been going on?” I asked.
“Too much! Soccer just started.”
“He still has little league practice for a few more weeks,” interjected his mom.
“And,” my student paused to emphasize, “Cub Scouts. And homework. And piano lessons.”
While Karen, his mother, was enthusiastically and actively providing positive educational and social activities for her son, it was clear from his slumped shoulders and fingers nervously pecking at the piano keys, that Mark was over-scheduled, stressed and unhappy.
As a younger mom, like Karen, I wanted to sign my kids up for every homeschool class, order all the cool puzzles, games and impressive curriculum I saw in the catalog, and volunteer for every service activity. I found myself pulled in so many directions, rushing my kids from one activity to another, and scarcely having time to enjoy teaching and learning together.
“Karen,” I said, “You're a good mom. And from personal experience, I would say you have too much going on. Right?" She nodded and sighed. "So, it's okay with me if you drop piano. I think you should figure out what activities are important to your family, and commit to those. If you're putting time and energy and money into something - and choosing to do that - you should enjoy it!"
Learning to say no is as important as knowing when to say yes. It allows us to access the satisfaction of what we choose to focus on, and gain greater balance in our lives.
So how do you determine what is best to focus on? Questions are a great place to start. Here is a strategy you can start with for activities, classes, or curriculum.
When considering classes, athletics, or music lessons ask: Is it affordable? How much time will it take, including travel time and practice time? Is it a good investment of our resources? Do we need this activity for social interactions, life skills, for recreation, or to meet core strengths? How does this impact our schedule? Does this strengthen our family values?
For curriculum, you might ask: Is it affordable? Does it fit my child's learning style? Can I supplement or duplicate it? Is it worth the investment? How much time will it take each day? Does it come with testing booklets or teacher’s manuals, and do I need those? Will it allow us to work at our own pace? Will we enjoy using it? Does it support our family values? Is it doable? Will my child need a tutor or online assistance? How will that impact our schedule?
You know when something fits your family. It just feels right! Even if it takes extra effort or sacrifice. Winnowing excess curriculum or activities can help you bring that sense of rightness to your life. Winnow means "using wind to remove chaff from grain." When you divide that word, it becomes "win now." I like that concept. Win. Now. To me that translates into replacing the worry, tension and rushing of an overpacked schedule with balance. We are all calmer and less stressed. And that's a huge win!
Karen and her son dropped piano lessons and focused instead on soccer and drawing lessons, something Mark loved! By refocusing on what was best for their family, my former student was transformed into an enthusiastic participant in his chosen activities. Remember that while saying yes to one activity may mean saying no to another, what doesn’t work for your family now might be a perfect fit later.
Think about your choices, and what best meets your family's needs. Thoughtful questions like those I've suggested can help lead to decisions that will increase your focus on the experiences you choose to share and the enjoyment of learning from them together.
Enjoy the journey!
“What’s been going on?” I asked.
“Too much! Soccer just started.”
“He still has little league practice for a few more weeks,” interjected his mom.
“And,” my student paused to emphasize, “Cub Scouts. And homework. And piano lessons.”
While Karen, his mother, was enthusiastically and actively providing positive educational and social activities for her son, it was clear from his slumped shoulders and fingers nervously pecking at the piano keys, that Mark was over-scheduled, stressed and unhappy.
As a younger mom, like Karen, I wanted to sign my kids up for every homeschool class, order all the cool puzzles, games and impressive curriculum I saw in the catalog, and volunteer for every service activity. I found myself pulled in so many directions, rushing my kids from one activity to another, and scarcely having time to enjoy teaching and learning together.
“Karen,” I said, “You're a good mom. And from personal experience, I would say you have too much going on. Right?" She nodded and sighed. "So, it's okay with me if you drop piano. I think you should figure out what activities are important to your family, and commit to those. If you're putting time and energy and money into something - and choosing to do that - you should enjoy it!"
Learning to say no is as important as knowing when to say yes. It allows us to access the satisfaction of what we choose to focus on, and gain greater balance in our lives.
So how do you determine what is best to focus on? Questions are a great place to start. Here is a strategy you can start with for activities, classes, or curriculum.
When considering classes, athletics, or music lessons ask: Is it affordable? How much time will it take, including travel time and practice time? Is it a good investment of our resources? Do we need this activity for social interactions, life skills, for recreation, or to meet core strengths? How does this impact our schedule? Does this strengthen our family values?
For curriculum, you might ask: Is it affordable? Does it fit my child's learning style? Can I supplement or duplicate it? Is it worth the investment? How much time will it take each day? Does it come with testing booklets or teacher’s manuals, and do I need those? Will it allow us to work at our own pace? Will we enjoy using it? Does it support our family values? Is it doable? Will my child need a tutor or online assistance? How will that impact our schedule?
You know when something fits your family. It just feels right! Even if it takes extra effort or sacrifice. Winnowing excess curriculum or activities can help you bring that sense of rightness to your life. Winnow means "using wind to remove chaff from grain." When you divide that word, it becomes "win now." I like that concept. Win. Now. To me that translates into replacing the worry, tension and rushing of an overpacked schedule with balance. We are all calmer and less stressed. And that's a huge win!
Karen and her son dropped piano lessons and focused instead on soccer and drawing lessons, something Mark loved! By refocusing on what was best for their family, my former student was transformed into an enthusiastic participant in his chosen activities. Remember that while saying yes to one activity may mean saying no to another, what doesn’t work for your family now might be a perfect fit later.
Think about your choices, and what best meets your family's needs. Thoughtful questions like those I've suggested can help lead to decisions that will increase your focus on the experiences you choose to share and the enjoyment of learning from them together.
Enjoy the journey!
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